Glory to those
who wanted to conquer
disease, old age,
death and suffering.
And glory to those
who wanted to uplift
the downtrodden masses,
but I am not them
- I have my own inquiry.
Maybe it’s selfish
and maybe it’s crazy
- what does it matter
when I’m born
with and for it?!
What is it,
where am I
and where does it lead
is nobody’s business
but my Lord’s and mine
- the tree is growing
and you may enjoy
its shade,
while the fruits
are yet to come.
When I accept it,
the struggle is gone
and the awareness
burns clear,
unobstructed.
Everything is a worship
and eulogy;
everything is a communion
when internal split
dissolves into “union”.
This is my cave,
my Guru & God
and my tapasya:
this very life
is my sacrifice,
service
and my sa’dhana’.
My life is a laboratory
and I’m both
the guinea pig
and the experimenter
with the virtues
of tolerance, endurance, patience…
with my own inquiry.
I wake up again:
another day
of confusion and pain
when I am
unenlightened
and dissatisfied.
No good news:
I’m still alive
and I’m unrealized.
It may be an illusion
but it is mine
and I’m in no mood
to drop it,
even for awhile.
Although I’m lazy
it seems ease
is not for me:
struggle and torture
are my lot
- my style! -
at least internally.
The anger and hate
keep the lamp
burning
late into the night
- once the fuel is spent
I extinguish
into silence and delight.
No, no,
I’ve never loved you
- only the thought
that you love me
and the thought
that I love you.
So:
what to do?
- Drop the thinking
and “me” and “you”!
I may not be
important to you
but I am important
to somebody:
I’m important
at least to me.
And “me” is not
the least
but the most
important one
so, watch out,
everyone!
I was a drop
in the river
rushing to the Ocean,
indeed.
Then I turned around
and swam upstream
- I wanted to meet
its Spring.
*
Whether drifting along
or struggling upstream,
in both cases still caught
in this colorful Dream.
The audience
was important
but inconsistent.
The only constant
was the Spot-Light!
Love not only
kindly gives
but also
gratefully receives.