Arpan’a’

I hate
because I love
that which
wouldn’t love me
the way I like.

And as long
as my love
is as exclusive
it limits
what I can give.

While the anger
won’t dissolve
as long
as I don’t
let it all go.

Sometimes You take me,
sometimes You leave me
- but never permanently –
in various styles
and through different forms.

You make me love You
the way You love me:
beyond appearances
and, most importantly,
beyond usual rules and norms.

Let me stay alert
and recognizing
the connections and meanings,
no matter who, what and how
is missing or performs…

Time to time
I fall
and bounce back
in one swift turn.

Time to time
You drop me
to drift away
and crawl on a return…

Since You’re the Source
and You’re the Goal
and You are
Everything Inbetween,
stay with me forever:
surround me from all sides
and fill me from within.

Whatever I’m incapable of realizing
give me, please,
of Your Own accord.

Do it quickly, too,
as there’s nothing
You can not afford.

Any news about You
is a good one
and it’s welcome;

every glimpse
an ecstatic vision;
every drop
- an ocean of Love.

My heart flutters
and aches
and races, wild,

when everything
is so clear
and: anything
but mild.

Like God,
love can’t be explained
- only hinted at
and felt again and again
in our own way…

Ba’ba’,
who are You;
what is Your reality?

Can it be told?
Or only experienced
when supremely bold,

dropping my skin
and all the
questioning?

I loved You
in so many ways
- the nice
and not so nice ones -
and tried to be Yours
the best I can…

I know You’re happy
with all of them.

And, yet,
it’s not enough
- we’re still too far
and too separate
and I fuss too much
about my fate.

While it’s never
too early or too late…

I dabble
in non-duality
and try to erase
the difference
between a You
and a me.

Then I look into Your eyes
and fall into Eternity

Where the size
and the speed
of Love
are nothing less
than
infinite

and I live forever
for Your smile.

If hatred
is a frustrated love
let me not
blame anyone

but remember:
reasoning is futile
while the tempest roars
on the high tide…