Arpan’a’

I waited near the entrance,
crying – doomed -
passed by the blessed ones.
Then, startled, I gasped:
I am already in
- I have always been “in” -
but have failed to perceive
His all-pervading Glory
through the veil of my tears!

My ego can blow up,
my ego can cry,
but He’ll forever be here,
watching,
watching,
sustaining me with the look of His eyes…

There is Someone behind all the eyes I have seen, hidden under the black or blue, brown or green glances, hinting His presence in the twinkles between the shades of the eyelashes.
Amidst these ever-changing curtains He remains ever-present, soft and caring, overjoyed at the sight of me. Tagore called Him “Lord of my life” – I wish to name Him “beloved Beloved”,
because it is Him that I love within all.
When I sense His presence, the eternal dance of give-and-take starts: my heart swells and blooms at the sight of Him and I start losing my pride in His adoration, bending more and more until I drop, melted into a pool sustained by His gladness.
And yet, He is not outside of me: it is my own yearning in the others’ eyes – the projection of my dreams and longing. My own loving I wish to see outside of myself; my own delight returns to me unrecognized…

This little life of mine
is filled with joy if I love;
if I live to the full.
- If I am not afraid to die
I am not afraid to live.

Just a tender foam
scattering rainbow-glitters,
trembling in the breeze
- with no purpose but to reflect
sun’s rays
- with no goal but to merge back
with waves.

That I am,
that is enough
- that is all there is:
there isn’t anything less
nor anything more.
Less is underestimation,
more is flattery.

If I want
to meet God
I have to leave
all my expectations,
and in such emptiness
meet “Him”
- my consciousness
in which lie
all the possibilities.

There is another way
of “seeing God”
- not by looking
at His Form,
but by looking
in a “godly way”:
recognizing
nearness and dearness
of all…

Gurudeva,
please,
take it away
from me,
even if I don’t know
how to give it
wholeheartedly…!

Go deeper and deeper inwards.
Watch your own heart
- nowhere outside You’ll find fulfillment,
for in your heart’s tides
is the secret of happiness.

Expand your own joy
by doing that which makes you happy
- by living the way which keeps you happy,
and that way is:
loving.