Arpan’a’

The further I drift
away from Him,
the tighter He clasps me
when He pulls me
back to Him!

If the Lord is
in the heart of the devotee
and the devotee sings
with her whole heart,
then it’s not
the devotee any more,
but the Lord Himself
Who sings!

In the morning,
Beloved said to her suddenly worried lover:
“If you have simply taken
what is yours,
and have given
that which is anyway Mine,
then we’ve been truly
a blessing to each other.”

… Carried by the wind of longing,
riding on the waves of emotions
I sail towards You…

Searching, I wonder,
lost in the streets,
hiking over the mountains,
resting in the corners…
- when You suddenly appear,
wrap me in Your cloak
and carry me away
in a rapturous dance.

Bathed in bitter-sweet tears
I swing with You
… until whirling takes me away
into another labyrinth of desires
with color and shade,
again lost…
again to be found…

When everyone has thrown the mud
and left,
I shake off the dirt,
remove my veils,
and rise before You bare and pure.

What else is this life
if not a romance
between me and You
- an endless rendezvous?

When all are gone
I find You,
Who waited patiently
for favorites and crowds
to disperse.
Then I am here
to dance only for You
and You are here
to love me.

Afraid,
curled in a blob of pain,
I cried:
“Don’t let me go,
never let me go…!”
But when I opened my eyes
I saw:
no “away” exists
- from Him to Him do I fly;
I go merely to find Him
anew everywhere.

- Just from His palm
on His lap I fall,
and if I jump once more
only on His feet can I land…
What to fear, then,
when in my own home
I’m always placed;
when in His heart
I am ever moving;
when from the center of His vision
I can never go astray,
as I am the pupil of His eye!

Who are You,
will I ever be able to say?
- My own dream,
my own loving adoration,
and my own dissolution…:
the “You” that is greater than “me”
and simultaneously
a tiny seed-point
from which “me” arises,
while “I” am the radius
between the seed
and the Infinity
- so small that I can never
look down upon others,
and so vast that I can never
look up to someone…
All is me,
and “You” are – me.

Looking at You
I become my eyes only
- how could I better love You
but with my smiles and tears?
I melt in gladness
at Your arrival,
and my whole being
lights up in Your adoration…
What more can I do
but burn for Your Glory?
You are the Grace
that makes me;
You are the Love
that sustains me;
You are the Fire of gratefulness
that consumes me…
I am Yours so much
that “me” is no more
- it’s You,
oh, Lord, it’s only You…

My Lord,
they give You garlands…
and when they dry up
they throw them away…

But I don’t want to give You
such a garland.
- I am Your ma’la’:
my arms are here
to embrace Your neck,
my body is a locket
to lay upon Your chest.
My eyes are diamonds,
my tears: pearls,
and my skin is a petal
that envelops this soul.

My Beloved, please,
accept this offering;
hold it with both Your hands
so it never breaks
under the heaviness
of its own weight.