Archive for the 'Anatomy of an angel (1999 – 2008)' Category

YOUR PEARL

Within the dark cover
of Your heavenly shell,
on the soft flesh
of Your earthly lap
I am cried,
caressed and kissed
all over:
Your bitter-sweet pain
– the apple of Your eye
and its thorn –
Your ecstasy and agony,
Your misery and Your glory,
cherished since born…
… I:
a grain of sand
smoothed into Beauty;
an Immortal Breath
withheld
from death.

WHEN AND HOW

This life I am spending
waiting
and missing
– so little “getting”;
so much grieving
over what I’m losing,
have lost,
am about to lose…

So much sadness,
so little acceptance,
and, though I submit,
I never surrender
to the circumstances.

I’m afraid of “having”
because
whatever comes
also goes,
and my wounded heart
breaks and shatters
some more,
… while I cry,
have cried,
will go on crying
forevermore…

I do wonder
why is it,
and does it have to be,
like that…
… And will I figure it out
before I am dead.

When and how
will I be allowed
to know that sorrow
is optional
and suffering: avoidable?
That bliss
is constantly available
and me: willing and able?
That I’m not betraying
everything and everyone
by letting them
leave my life,
and that pain
doesn’t prove
the depth and strength
of my love?

That I’m not losing
anything,
have never lost,
will never lose
anyone,
and there’s nothing to miss
since
all are always here
and all is already found?

HUMAN STORY

Her-story:

“Your arrow
has already struck
one target.
Your love
did pluck
one heart.

How to live alone now
when everywhere you left
your mark?”

His-story:

“Your fields
have fed
one hunger.
Your wells
have drowned
a thirsty one.

How to leave, alone, now
when for all time
I have been marked?”

COSMIC SPECIALITY

Out of these “everyone”
anyone
can become
a “special one”.

Until we recognize
that anyone
and everyone
are “special ones”.

WONDERFUL

All my life I’ve been looking for
someone sane, gentle, beautiful;
someone to tell me the wise stuff
and love me the way I’d like.

I’ve searched and I haven’t really found.
‘Cause I always went too far out.

Sometimes I look at myself and see
someone sane, gentle, beautiful,
telling others the wise stuff
and loving them the way they’d like.

Why couldn’t I notice my wonderfulness
from the very start?

TAKE-OVER

I’m a compulsive thinker,
that’s all.
But, it’s getting better:
slowly I’m explaining away
whatever doesn’t matter
and soon explaining itself
won’t matter any more.

I’ll find enough reasons
and plenty of reassurance
my life is safe
without further insurance,
and my word-shield
will drop
into oblivion.

A Silent, Gentle God
will take over
from that point on.

PAUSE

No worries.
I can leave question-
and exclamation-marks
aside.
For the time being,
full-stop
is just fine.

MY LIKINGS

I like the right
“not to follow”.
Because when I don’t “have to”;
when I’m not forced,
I choose to do it
– ‘cause I like it
and want it –
on my own.

I like the right
“not to know”.
Because what’s not prescribed;
what’s not imposed,
I discover
– accept
and understand –
by my effort.

I like the fact
that I’m trusted.
Because it shows
that the One Who knows and does
It All
doesn’t worry and fuss,
being the Source, Journey and Goal
of all of us.

WARNING OF A CHARMING LOTUS

Dear bumble-bee,
if you ever visit by chance
know this about me
in advance:

my sweetness is so delicious
and my fragrance so intoxicating
that you’ll be called and held
even without you noticing.

And you’ll stay in my flower-chamber
all through the moon-full night
– petal-doors and windows shut
and my embrace very tight.

Only when the Greater Light
rises upon the sky
you’ll be allowed
to bid me good-bye.

P.S.
If all you’ll be thinking of
is desperate escaping,
remember, I’m not your jailor
but, rather, protecting

your pretty wings and nose
from much bigger dangers:
the night is really, full
of bee-eating strangers.

CAUSE OF MIRACLES

Ba’ba’,
let me be kind, truly kind,
and let me love, really love
– don’t unleash my demons
onto mankind.

I dread my selfishness
and my self-centeredness,
my cruelty,
my immaturity,
my waste of energy and time…

Oh, Ba’ba’,
let me love, truly love,
and let me be kind, really kind
– not closed, cold
and arrogant…